Lately it seems like I have had a string of pretty tough weeks and months. I have had many moments where being the boss just plain stinks. Long hours, lots of responsibility, and tough/stressful conversations occur often – and lately, daily.

I have moments in my job where every action I make feels completely void of any meaning.  Like everything I do is just a string of meaningless actions with no value added to the universe.  I feel like I have to shut off my emotions so that I can just survive mentally. Recently I had to lay off five people. Five lives completely turned upside down with a few simple words. I did not take these words lightly or without meaning.   In one day I laid off three people, in a row.  I reached a point at which I literally did not think things could get any worse… but alas, just when you think that, sometimes they do.

And then, just when I want to give up and shut down completely, Jesus shows up in my everyday life to remind me that when I place my meaning in him, I will give meaning to others.  Someone sent me a quiet email letting me know that they appreciate me.  Those simple words were enough to redirect my meaningless emotions and actions into something that is meaningful and full of purpose.

Sometimes I need to be reminded that placing my meaning in Christ doesn’t have to be in the literal form. It can be best reflected through my everyday life and leading it in a way that can make people stop and think “Wow, she handled that really well.”  I have to practice this daily and I don’t always do a good job, so I am glad to be part of a community that can help remind me of what true meaning is.

This past week I was in Washington D.C. while the story broke about the intent to repeal the military’s 16-year old “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy.  I actually don’t feel I can make an educated comment on the topic because I have never been in the military and have no idea how it may impact critical operations the military carries out.  I do however feel we all need to be part of a community where we can feel comfortable talking to one another, regardless of the topic and regardless of our answers.

I grew up in a church where discussions of our problems were discouraged unless you were behind closed doors with an elder of the church.  I never had a relationship with any elder that made me feel comfortable discussing serious issues that weighed heavy on my heart.

At Citywalk, I feel we have established a community where not only can any topic be discussed, but it will be discussed with grace, love and understanding – not judgment or ridicule.  In fact, I think we have an “Ask and Tell” policy.  I can’t tell you how many days I have been feeling down and someone has walked up to me, looked me in the eyes and asked, “Is everything OK? Do you want to talk?”  Sometimes I do, sometimes I don’t, but it is so comforting to know that I belong to a community that both asks and allows me to tell!

When we talk about taking hold of and living out the way of Jesus, are we taking the time to stop and listen with compassion and without judgment? Are we willing to open our hearts and speak our pain to those in our community?  With the relationships I have established in our community I know I can “Ask and Tell!”